College Parent Tips

Tips for parents with kids going out of state for college

 in College Parent Tips  tagged college parent / lifestyle by
tips for parents with kids going out of state for college

It is that time of year when high school seniors make their final decision about which college they plan to commit to. Many kids plan to commit to an out of state school, which you will see me refer to as “OOS.” When your child decides to attend an OOS school, the anxiety you feel as a parent may increase tenfold. Not only is your child leaving home to go to college, they are crossing state lines! In fact, they could be going all the way across the country from the west coast to the east coast, or vise versa. That is a huge move and life change!

There are many reasons a student decides to go to an OOS school. One of the big reasons is the school has a strong reputation in your child’s intended major. This is the reason my daughter ended up out of state. The major she chose was sparse in California, so she found an amazing program out of state, and off she went to the opposite coast!

This is an exciting time for a student who is going off to college. On the other hand, as the parent, you might be hiding from your child how nervous and anxious this whole process is making you feel. After all, your baby is crossing state lines, and you will need to hop on a plane to visit them! Yikes!

As a parent with a child who attends college OOS, let me tell you, it gets easier. The summer before she left for school I was anxious and had a fear of the unknown. We made sure she was well-prepared and had everything she would need for the school year in both her suitcases and the boxes we shipped to her from home. The big thing is making sure your child has what they need, such as bedsheets, laundry detergent, school supplies, and clothing for various types of weather. While the school will provide a packing list, there are always more items you will need to add depending on your child, the climate, and how far away they will be from home.

My husband flew with my daughter to check her into the dorms before school started. When you are coming from out of state, it is a good idea to check into the dorms as early as possible. This allows you time to shop for items you couldn’t ship, or forgot to pack. This also allows you the chance to make sure your child adapts to the new time zone, and is able to get familiar with their surroundings at the new school. We were able to check our daughter in five days early, which was perfect for helping her get settled in her dorm room.

The whole time my husband was with my daughter, getting her settled at school, I was anxious and nervous. My baby was a plane ride away, out of state! Aaaaah! This is a normal feeling that many share when their child goes OOS for school. If your child is going OOS, you may already feel this apprehension. Thankfully there are ways to overcome the anxious and nervous feelings you may be having about your child going OOS for school.

Here are a few tips to calm your nerves. Also, keep in mind, you feel a thousand times better after the first semester is complete, and you get accustomed to your child flying home alone, and being in a different time zone. As they say, time heals!

  • Get a copy of your child’s class schedule. If they are in a different time zone, this will help you know when it is safe to contact them.
  • Don’t contact your child all day, everyday. Let them spread their wings. Chances are, your child will reach out to you with questions, or to ask you to buy something, or send money. If you miss your child and want to chat, try to text them in the evening when they are back in their dorm room. The daily schedule of a college student is busy, and you don’t want to interrupt them unless you have an emergency.
  • Send care packages. Is there are holiday they won’t be home for such as Valentine’s Day or St Pat’s Day? Send a small box with holiday themed chocolates or items to give your child a little bit of love from home. This will also make you feel good.
  • Schedule a facetime or zoom. Technology nowadays allows for us to see each other’s faces when we chat with them, might as well take advantage of it! A weekly call with your student and family members can keep you close and connected, and help calm your anxiety about your student being OOS.
  • Visit your child during Parents Weekend. I know there are differing opinions about attending Parents Weekend, but I feel like it is a great time to visit your child. The school has events planned for parents and you can connect with your child’s school. This helps to make the school feel closer to home, and gives you an excuse to visit your child.
  • Teach your child to fly on their own before they leave for school. You don’t want your child panicking at the airport because all of their liquids are getting confiscated at TSA. Fly with your child before they leave for college and teach them the rules of going through TSA, what they can put in their suitcase, and what is acceptable for the carry-on. Also make sure you help your child book flights with longer layovers. If your child has a 45 min layover and there is a delay in the first flight, this will cause both of you anxiety. Give your child a long layover so they can fly home, or back to school, in a relaxed state.
  • Driving: You might be wondering about your child’s driver’s license or insurance, there are different options, but I will let you know what we did. Your child can keep their license from home. Unless they plan to move to the new state full-time, and bring their car, they don’t need to switch the state in which they are licensed to drive. Also, if the car is staying home, call your insurance. Ours let’s us toggle our daughter off the insurance while she is away at school, and then toggle her back on when she is home for vacation. This is a money saver! Love that!
  • Connect with other out of state parents from home, and from your child’s new school. There are Facebook groups for parents, as well as regional parents. This helps you ask questions, and learn from, local parents with kids at the same college as your child. It is a great way to connect and ease your nerves!

While having a child go OOS for school can be nerve-wracking, it is a manageable situation that can be a great experience for your child. As long as you stay organized and connected to your child, it will feel like they are down the street.

Travel items your child might need:

Let me know if you have any tips to add!

Thanks for stopping by!

Congrats to your child!

XOXO
Cathy

Finals care package ideas

 in College Parent Tips  tagged college parent / holiday gift ideas by

College finals care package ideas from top left: chocolate truffles / squishie / stretchy stress balls / boba squishie / gold chocolate box / yellow squishie /

It’s finals season! If you have a college student away at school, they might be gearing up for finals right now. Finals is a stressful time for a college student as they have multiple finals exams in the same week, as well as final projects and papers due all at the same time. This is a time when your college student will feel stressed, possibly homesick, and really need a mommy or daddy hug. Unfortunately, you are not there, so you cannot give them that hug which makes everything less overwhelming. Instead, you can send them a little love from home, in the form of a finals care package.

There are three key ingredients to the perfect care package from home. Something sweet, something squishie to hug, and something to help the stress. Something sweet is easy. You can run out to CVS and grab their favorite candy bar, or you can get something special which isn’t sold on campus or near campus. We love to send our daughter See’s candy, or Godiva chocolate. The boxes are special, and the chocolate is sooooo good. This gives your college student something sweet, which is special. They love that!

This generation loves squishies and stuffies. It seems as if the majority of college students have a squishie collection in their dorm room. Why not give one more? They come in different sizes, but the 12″ is the easiest to hug and snuggle while under stress. A new squishie just before finals week will give your student a feeling of love from home, as well as something to hug while under stress. Love that!

Finally, the care package for finals should have something to combat stress. Stress balls don’t last forever, so if your student brought one to school back in August, there is a chance it is either already destroyed, or on its last legs. Why not send a new stress ball which can take the heat of finals week? This package of stress balls offers not only the ability to squeeze, but also stretch. What a fun stress reliever! Love it!

When I send a care package to my daughter, I like to line the box with a pretty foil in a fun color such as fuchsia. This makes the entire box festive. Your student will open the box, see special foil, and love the sweets, squishie, and stress balls inside. It is the perfect finals care package to help relieve stress and send a little love from home.

Shop finals care package gifts online:

You can ship your finals care package to your student via your favorite shipping company such as UPS or USPS. If sending chocolate, make sure the shipper knows there is something perishable in there so that it doesn’t end up in a hot place. We have had good luck chocolate through UPS ground. It arrives at my daughter’s dorm in perfect condition.

Don’t forget to include a handwritten card with well wishes!

Good luck with finals, and thanks for stopping by!

XOXO
Cathy

Tips for surviving your child leaving for college

 in College Parent Tips  tagged college parent / lifestyle / tips by

One of the most anxiety ridden activities of high school is going through the application process. After your child is done receiving acceptances, waitlists, and rejections, then what? There is a short period of time when your child picks a school. Then, your whole family is excited, and you buy the sweatshirt for their new school. Then, you snap photos of your child wearing the sweatshirt and announce the big news all over social media. Your child tells all of his/her friends and then everyone is excited about the new school year in the fall.

One day over the summer, your child attends orientation at the new school and receives a schedule; then it hits you. Your little baby, who you used to carry around, feed, cloth, and snuggle with, is going to leave the house. This means no more good night hugs, no more good morning greetings, no more cooking a favorite meal and seeing the joy on your child’s face. It is over until Thanksgiving vacation. If your child leaves for school in August, it will be three full months before they come home for Thanksgiving.

You might get lucky, and your child attends a school with a Parent’s Weekend in early October. This is a weekend designated for parents to come on campus and visit their student. Chances are, your student will also have their own activities planned such as study groups for mid-terms and projects. You might get a little bit of time with your student, and some meals off campus, but it won’t be the full time attention you are accustomed to back home. Your student has their own life now.

This is hard. No-one tells you how hard it is. Everyone tells stories about how proud they are of their child, but no-one tells you how much you will miss your student. While nothing will replace hugging your child, there are a few things you can do to ease the pain, and to help you survive your student leaving for college.

  • Get a hobby. If you have a hobby, especially a new one, it will add something new to your life and also distract you from the missing person at the dinner table.
  • Concentrate on the other kids. Do you still have other kids at home? Don’t forget about them. Stay focused on their lives and enjoy parenting them while they are still home.
  • Don’t tell your child how much you miss them. If you tell your child how much you miss them and break into tears, they will feel guilty for going away. When you speak with your student, tell them how proud you are of them, and ask about their life.
  • Help them break-away and be excited about becoming an independent adult. Of course, no college student is fully independent. They will ask you for pizza money and call you for things such as how to remove a coffee stain from their favorite shirt.
  • Try to keep texting and calling at a minimum. If you need to reach out to your student, wait until the evening when they are back in their dorm room relaxing. You don’t want to bother them while they are studying and running from class to class.
  • Plan for their return. Look at the schedule for when your child returns for vacation. Plan some activities for those days and also schedule in down time for your student to sleep in and relax.

A child going away to college is a natural part of the parenting cycle. Your child is eighteen years old, and while he or she may not be ready to own a house and care for it, as well as themselves, your child will be ready to tackle things like laundry, getting to the cafeteria for food, keeping their room clean (well, we hope, haha), waking up in the morning, and paying attention to their studies.

Although your child went away to college, they still need you. They will still come home for vacation and breaks. While they aren’t in the house full-time anymore, your student will always be your child, and they will also love you. Embrace the growing up part, and help to guide them through the struggles.

Thanks for stopping by!

XOXO
Cathy